Self-love is complicated.
Self-love does not come easy.
Self-love is a continuous journey.
Self-love will be challenged.
Self-love is, and always will be, a choice.
Okay, that sounded a bit scary. But you know what? It is scary.
It is scary that we have somehow grown out of loving ourselves.
It is scary that more often than not we choose hating/fearing/criticizing ourselves, rather than loving and believing in ourselves.
I can go from accepting and loving myself in one moment, to feeling disappointed and disgusted with myself in the next. My self-love relationship is the most fickle thing in my life.
What saddens me, is that we live in a fickle world, where there is hurt and anger playing out in all sorts of ways- and I cannot do anything about it. What saddens me most about this- is that loving myself, is something I actually have control over, unlike all the other S*** going on, yet I struggle immensely to take that step of responsibility and care, for one person- ME. And that often shuts me down from helping others, and reaching out elsewhere.
So Now What??
1. Accept that it is not easy.
Don't fight this. I will not judge you for struggling with self-love, and I don't want you to judge yourself for struggling with self-love.
2. Be proud of the struggle.
If you are aware of the struggle, that means that you are trying to love yourself. The fact that you are trying, instead of accepting hatred or indifference, make me feel proud of you. You may feel proud of the journey too.
3. Choose LOVE
I'm not titling this self-love, because sometimes that choice is too hard to make, and I get that. So I encourage you to choose self-love when you feel you can. When you feel you can't, then choose love towards someone or something else. Keep love flowing in your life, and direct it towards yourself when you feel you can.
I cannot tell you, and I don't want to tell you, how you must choose self-love for yourself. This is part of the self-discovery process. If you feel you want some help with discovering what feels like self-love to you, and what doesn't, please send me a message in the chat box to your left. Support is not something to be ashamed of.
Happy self-discovery and self-love my darlings!