Facing Our Boundaries
"We can trust ourselves to know when our boundaries are being violated"
- Melody Beattie
This seems like a simple statement to make, but there are two words that make this mission almost impossible- trust ourselves. This may not be true for us all, but I can honestly tell you that I do not always trust myself, and what I'm feeling. This makes me both sad and angry, because I am the one person that I can and should truly and lovingly trust.
I often find that my boundaries feel like the picture above- no clear boundary, but a big muddle of colors that move in and out of each other. And though I admit I love the picture aesthetically, when it comes to protecting and honoring my boundaries, this picture makes me feel anxious.
So how do we know our boundaries?
For the next day or two, tune into your feelings when you are in conversation with someone, or when someone asks you something.
How does it feel? Is there anything uneasy? Do you feel angry, frustrated, anxious?
Question those feelings that come up- are they coming up because someone is overstepping a boundary, that you are aware or unaware of?
Write those down somewhere if anything comes up for you.
Another way to check out your boundaries is by writing them down on a piece of paper in a few categories: sacred space, intimate space, personal space, social space, and public space. You can determine what these different spaces mean to you.
Take some time to reflect on who and what you allow into these spaces, and whether that sits well with you, or whether you might like to change any of them.
You have the power to change them.
I don't want to overwhelm you- take a few days to tune in, make some notes around what your boundaries are and whether they sit well with you or not.
In the next few days I will do another post on how we can shift our boundaries, and learn to trust ourselves a bit more.
Feel free to leave me a message in the chat box to the left if you are struggling:-)
***Leave your name and email after your chat if you'd like me to get back to you x
Be gentle towards yourself!